I’ve always felt things deeply. I think part of it comes from being an empath and having a highly sensitive personality. I can’t watch scary or violent movies because my anxiety gets too high and I have nightmares for months later.
The feelings I have in response to small mishaps in my life often seem out of proportion. I often feel extreme anxiety, as if someone is chasing me with a gun. After the anxiety comes the depression. Sometimes, I even have thoughts of wanting to die. I don’t necessarily want to end my life, it’s just that sometimes living in my own brain can be so painful that I want it all to end.
And to deal with these feelings I try and explain what I’m experiencing to those I love, and they just don’t understand. They tell me I’m overreacting, to stop thinking about it, or to just pray about it. In turn, I end up feeling worse. I get mad at myself for having the emotions in the first place.
I get frustrated with them and myself. I get mad because I just want to be “normal”. Why do I experience things so intensely? What is wrong with me?
I wish I had the answer to WHY I respond so intensely, but I do. However, I can share how I’m dealing. Lately, I’ve been using self-compassion. I talk kindly to myself. I am not broken, there’s nothing wrong with me. In fact, in some ways being a deeply feeling person can be a good thing.
So, I’m here to say that whatever you feel IS NOT wrong. It does not make you a bad person. If people don’t validate your experiences, I’m sorry. It’s happened to me many times, and still does. I no longer need others acceptance to know I’m ok.